


Beyond your Skin

by RocioZero



Category: Dragon Ball Super
Genre: BlamasuWeek, BlamasuWeek2019, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Selfcest, ZamaBlack, blamasu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioZero/pseuds/RocioZero
Summary: Black's new body begins to push him with feelings he doesn't understand, which incites him to get closer and closer to Zamasu physically. But Zamasu doesn't seem to feel the same. What will happen when the feelings of two people who are the same are no longer reciprocated?
Relationships: Goku Black/Zamasu
Kudos: 9





	1. New Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This story was published for Blamasu Week 2019.

The Zero Humans Plan was at its peak –Goku Black and Zamasu, the only living deities in their timeline, traveled through the various universes destroying every trace of mortal life in them. After exterminating all civilizations in most of the universes the duo had established on Earth, a strategic place for them given the special relationship of the humans who lived there with the origin of their plan. They settled in a cabin located in the middle of a lush forest surrounded by mountains, with the intention of remaining there for an indefinite period while Black beat all the remaining humans, which wasn't difficult at all. Black was an innate warrior, with abilities beyond the gods themselves –his saiyan flesh provided him with strength and resistance that made him virtually invincible, without weaknesses. Not at least on the battlefield.  
But that green complexion. Those platinum eyes. That slim and elegant figure. They could make shake his knees and raise their palpitations to greater magnitudes than those felt in battle. His partner, his future self, the one he chose to share his mission with, was his weakness.

It was quite natural that the bond between Zamasu and Black had deepened after such a long time sharing the same spaces, moments, and ideologies, traveling through the cosmos together to achieve their dream. But Black definitely began to perceive other kinds of feelings that were born within him, which increased as soon as they began to live together: the consolidation of a shared routine had united them even more. His feelings for Zamasu had not changed –the affection for him was the same, he appreciated him as much as, precisely, himself, but something was different when he looked at him. As if a force beyond him pushed him closer, physically speaking. At first, it was nothing strange, both Zamasu and Black had no problem with physical interaction with someone who was themselves, as in the hug they shared in their first meeting; it was normal for them to exchange pats and random caresses, and they had no problem to sleep together in the same bed. But Black started feeling anxious about it, and sleeping together didn't help lessen his cravings.

One night, Black had trouble sleeping, so he stayed awake watching his partner lying beside him. He could spend hours just seeing him, appreciating his fine features, his peaceful expression, and that divine aura that he showed, which he lacked. He really looked divine, a charm that went beyond the earthly plane. Dubitative, he reached his hand to him and gently stroked his forehead and part of his hair that fell on it, only with his fingertips. It was an insignificant contact but nevertheless managed to please him in some way. Zamasu shrugged his shoulders a little and opened his eyes, which immediately focused on those of his partner, who quickly stopped the movement, fearful of his response.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Black apologized quietly.

"No," Zamasu replied softly.

"Does it bother you if I do that?"

"No," he replied again with the same gentleness. "Why do you do it?" not seeking justification but out of curiosity.

"I don't know," frowning a little, with some guilt for not being able to explain his impulses better. "It's just… it feels good."

"Yes. It feels good…" Zamasu sighed, closing his eyes drowsily.

"So… you don't mind if I keep doing it?"

"No," the Kai replied in a whisper.

Black immediately used the permission, stroking the head, cheek, and ear of his counterpart, but very gently so as not to disturb his sleep. It was a fortune that Zamasu had allowed the contact, otherwise Black would have deposed that behavior immediately; none craving of his new anatomy would be justification for abusing his partner. Black continued caressing him until the repetition of the act made him sleep.  
This kind of situation repeated again, although Black no longer needed Zamasu's permission to get close to him. But that "hunger" that his hands felt wouldn't be satisfied so easily, but rather increased. Zamasu's skin was a delicacy for Black's, and something inside him struggled to delight in his. He realized about it, "this must be some strange mechanism of this human body," Black often thought, but he wasn't so internalized about how it worked to explain these reactions. All he knew was that he constantly felt the need to be close to Zamasu, to touch him, to look at him, to have him.

Days and weeks passed in the same circumstances. That morning, Black woke up very early, still at dawn, distracted by the noise of some animals outside. When he turned he saw his partner sleeping, turning his back. He looked at him for a short moment, but no kind of meditation could dissuade him from acting upon such temptation. Carefully, he moved under the sheets and curled up on his partner's back, sticking his nose to his neck; he tried not to make any sudden movements so as not to wake him up, he didn't want to annoy him. The warmth of his body, which contrasted with the cool morning air, was a delight for Black's senses, who smiled when he perceived it. In addition, Zamasu always smelled very good, something that he noticed thanks to his smell enhanced by his saiyan nature. Those little moments of such tranquility and pure union made him very happy, the kind of quality that humans who were besieged by his insatiable thirst for destruction would never imagine. But closeness was never enough for Black's eager senses, who were always looking for something else from his other-self. With some hesitation, he put his arm over Zamasu's waist and hugged him, bringing him a little closer to him. The way their two bodies matched despite their different anatomies felt sensational to Black. If only…

"Hmm?"

Zamasu moaned, indicating that he was awake and obviously confused by the situation. "Shit!" Black thought, his impulses made him forget that Zamasu dozed only and could wake up easily. However, his body failed to release him, his interest was stronger than his shame. "Sorry for waking you up," Black whispered in guilt, closing his eyes tightly and tensing his entire body, involuntarily squeezing Zamasu a little more against him.

"It's okay," the Kai replied calmly. Black sighed with relief, perhaps too loud, drawing Zamasu's attention. "Are you okay?" Turning his head to see Black to the face.

Black was stuck to him, so they were just a few centimeters from each other; Black opened his eyes wide and blushed a little, but Zamasu didn't notice it because of the dark. It was amazing what only a short distance could cause, Zamasu's features looked even more attractive and tempting up close. "Y–yes, everything's fine," Black replied, fascinated by the image in front of him.

"All right. Try to rest a little more," Zamasu returned to his spot.

Black remained motionless for a few seconds, taken aback by everything he felt at that moment, before realizing that he was still clinging to Zamasu. "Does it bother you that I take you this way?" he hurried to ask, raising himself on his elbow.

"Hn-hn," Zamasu denied with a throaty sound.

Black lay back down, reassured by that response but still shocked by that close encounter. He tried to breathe deeply with dissimulation to reduce his palpitations, since his partner may feel them being so close to each other.

"Hmmmmm~" Zamasu moaned drowsily as he settled his place, placed his arm on Black's, and took his hand, preparing to sleep.

And there went Black's attempt to keep calm: he opened his eyes, stunned by the intensity of the emotions that went through him with that simple act. The feeling of Zamasu accepting his gesture and sharing the warmth of his hand was something wonderful. And that groaning sounded so… Interesting? Curious? Peculiar? 'Sensual' was the word Black was looking for, but he still didn't know it. He couldn't fall asleep again, but that was the last thing he cared for.


	2. Same but Different

"Is something bothering you?" Zamasu asked calmly, rinsing the remains of shampoo from Black's abundant hair. He was behind Black, who remained very still while his companion helped him, while the water in the shower fell on him and peaked on the tiles.

Perhaps it was the stiffness of his muscles or the lack of dialogue that day that made him suspect that there was something different, Zamasu could be quite receptive to some things, although Black was not prepared to handle a justification yet. "Nothing particularly important," he replied with the same tranquility.

"Something particularly small then?"

"Hm," Black snorted. "Maybe."

"Go on, tell me," Zamasu asked with kind complicity, stroking Black's wet hair to shape it, having finished washing it.

Black gave a sigh that he tried to hide, before closing the shower faucet and turning around to face his counterpart. Zamasu watched him with innocent eyes, hoping to know the reason for his partner's discomfort. "You know that inhabiting this new body has been a challenge for me. It has given me all kinds of new powers, but also a whole new range of needs and feelings that I'm still trying to understand. I do not regret having obtained it, but… sometimes it puzzles me how different it is from yours."

Zamasu listened carefully, waiting for the true crux of the matter.

"To put it another way... This body makes me feel things previously unknown. Not only physically, but… emotionally. Feelings and emotions that I am not sure how to deal with. I don't know if what I feel for you is the same as what you feel for me…"

"I do not quite understand what you're trying to say," Zamasu replied, frowning slightly. "We are the same person, don't we feel the same for each other?"

"I think not anymore. Not in a bad way, it's just… different." Black regretted that he couldn't express himself clearly about what he felt, but it was because he wasn't sure what it was that went through his body and his thoughts on a daily basis. He decided to try a more direct approach, to ease the understanding of both. "What do you feel for me?" Black asked, staring at Zamasu's eyes.

"Much appreciation, respect. Admiration. A deep affection."

"That's it?"

"I could extend more, but I don't think it comes to the case."

"I also feel all that, of course. But I also feel… attraction. Desire." Black extended his arm to Zamasu and began to gently caress his right shoulder with the back of his hand. "I want to caress you, I want to touch you. I want… to please myself in your body. And that you take pleasure in mine," he commented, in a more hoarse voice, invoking an unconscious sensuality that he didn't know.

"How would you do that?" Zamasu asked, somewhat intrigued.

"I already do," he replied with a small smile, filling his eyes with that delight that was Zamasu's clean and naked body in front of him; so delicate, so magnificent. "I would very much like to know if you would allow me to act on those desires…" Black asked with some grief in his eyes as if asking mercy for the vulnerability of his state.

"You know that I am not familiar with that new kind of impulses you feel. What do you have in mind?" Zamasu asked, without much concern for that particular request.

"Only that for now. To enjoy our company and our tact."

"Don't we do that now?"

"Yes, but… I want more." Black moved his hand over Zamasu's shoulder by his arm, tracing that skin in a caress. He knew that he wanted to feel more of that, an internal urgency was crying out, but he would do nothing without the consent of his other-self. "Will you allow me?"

Zamasu didn't ask for an explanation, he didn't need it, he had a slight idea of what Black was referring to and had no intention or reason to refuse. He nodded, to which Black corresponded with a smile of tranquility, then he approached Zamasu and hugged him, wrapping his arms over all the extent of skin that he could. Their bodies were still wet and hot after the bath, a sensation that Black loved. Zamasu was struck by the agitation of Black's heart, that he could feel beating hard in his chest close to his, but that helped him understand how important this was for him. He closed his eyes and corresponded to the hug, bringing his arms to Black's back and resting his chin gently on his shoulder. Black hugged him a little more tightly, softly caressing his skin, and slipped to Zamasu's neck, trying to join their bodies as much as he could. Zamasu wasn't much smaller than him but Black felt him tiny, unbearable as if he were going to escape at any moment from his hands, as something fragile and precious that he had to protect, whose beauty he couldn't catch in his hands. "Touching this skin is what I needed, " Black thought, sketching a huge smile of satisfaction on his lips, ignoring that Zamasu could also feel it while being stuck on his skin. Zamasu also smiled, losing himself in the peace and joy of the moment.


	3. My Skin, your Skin

Since that occasion, Black was able to release his passion for Zamasu's skin, although always with tact and delicacy. He greeted him with a kiss on the cheek or forehead, took his hand while they chatted or drank tea, and caressed him whenever he had a chance; having meetings to exchange caresses and affection before going to bed and during the morning had become customary for both of them. Those were gestures that didn't bother Zamasu, but which for Black meant a lot, made his heart rejoice and calmed down those anxieties he constantly felt. Being able to have Zamasu by his side was everything to him.  
Or so he thought, but as the days passed by Black began to notice something –touching Zamasu was no longer enough. The feeling of being able to have him in his hands was great, but he also wanted to receive the same attention, his own skin craved for the touch of the other. At first, he didn't care, it was enough for him to have his other self close to him, but he slowly realized that it was no longer enough, that he wanted a return for his love and that Zamasu wasn't giving it to him. Black managed to incite this attitude in his partner, taking his hand with his and making him caress his face or chest, and Zamasu did, but only as long as he was compelled in this way, and not for long. It was almost as if Zamasu felt no interest in touching him but only in receiving his affection. Black knew that this attitude was not voluntary; otherwise, Zamasu would have clarified it from the beginning, but he didn't know how to awaken that will in him. In the end, he decided that the best thing would be to avoid misunderstandings and ask for the attention he needed without any hesitation.

"You know… I would like you to caress me as I do, too," Black said quietly, running his fingers through Zamasu's hair, sitting on the sofa in the living room, in the middle of a caressing session.

"Like this?" Zamasu brought his hand to Black's hair and also stroked it, fiddling with his bangs and long strands of hair.

"Yes," Black smiled, delighted by the contact. "But overall. I want to know that you like what I do. May we both enjoy it."

"Oh. Sorry," Zamasu quickly realized what Black was talking about and answered somewhat sorry. "It's just that… my body is not used to this. It doesn't have the same impulses as the human anatomy, it doesn't have the initiative or, rather, the appropriate motor response for these things. You still remember it, right?"

"Yes, I know it very well. But I also know that we were able to change the perception of this body," he replied playfully, as he skimmed Zamasu's face and lips with his fingers. "I think, just as you got used to receiving my caresses, you can get used to giving them to me. You just need to get used to it."

"Indeed. I don't do it because of a lack of interest, I just need a little encouragement," Zamasu said, still with some grief in his eyes, while stroking Black's cheek, motivated by the topic of the moment.

That was enough for Black, Zamasu's willingness to do something about it managed to renew his eagerness. He looked at the lips he had touched a few seconds ago –perhaps it was the short distance that separated him from them or the desire of the moment, but today they looked particularly tempting. And he didn't want to refuse his wishes today. Black approached him and, for the first time, kissed Zamasu on the lips, very softly and almost without moving his. When he separated, he saw Zamasu's cheeks and ears dying with an adorable crimson tone, framing an expression of surprise at his owner. "I suppose your body is not really ready for some things," Black smiled, "but if it reacted in some way, it's because we are on track. You look beautiful," he added sweetly.

"Do not act as if you knew more about this than me, you are blushed as well," Zamasu said amusedly, somewhat embarrassed and flattered.

Black hadn't noticed it since it was usual for him to feel how the temperature of his entire body increased every time he touched his counterpart, but he also felt a particular warmth on his face after the kiss. It didn't seem like something to be ashamed of anyway, it must be a natural reaction if both experienced the same; also, those short seconds in which they maintained that contact had felt divine. It was something he definitely wanted to feel again. "Did you like it?" Black asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want more?"

"Please," Zamasu replied, like a real plea.

Black approached him, took his cheek, and gave him another kiss, this time extending its duration while stroking the cheekbone with his thumb. At that moment, nothing else mattered to him, he didn't need someone else's caress or a mutual gesture while that kiss would unite them that way; it was the perfect union between their souls.


	4. Reciprocity

That kiss catapulted Black's anxiety through the clouds, opening a new world of possibilities. He would never have imagined that his lips could give him so much pleasure in such a simple act. Obviously, Zamasu also enjoyed it, and as the days went by these kisses evolved, although slowly –Black was encouraged to taste his partner's lips with his tongue, to gently nibble on them, or to place kisses on various parts of his anatomy. Kissing had made his routine much more interesting.  
But the problem was still present. Although Zamasu evidenced to enjoy the caresses, the kisses, and the affection, he never returned it in the same form or magnitude –his tact was fleeting, tenuous, shy; he responded to the kisses by accepting them but barely keeping up with the rhythm, and he was never the one who initiated the contact. Black had made this malaise bearable thanks to his own enjoyment of simply feeling him in his arms, but over time this made a dent in his attitude towards his other-self. He also wanted to feel Zamasu's hands on his body, and the wait for him to take the initiative became intolerable. Again and again, he subtly urged him to accompany his movements and Zamasu accepted him but only for a few moments as if he didn't know what to do even though he had Black in front of him who taught him everything. Black couldn't help feeling rejected, was he doing something wrong? Why couldn't he get Zamasu to respond to his attention, no way about to offer something similar?

That day, after breakfast, the gods took the morning to rest after several days of intense destruction; they stayed in bed to enjoy the leisure and their mutual company. Of course, that scenario was Black's favorite one to approach Zamasu, to pamper him and devour him gently with his lips and hands. He opened his shirt and stroked his pecs and his torso, where he placed some soft kisses, always turning constantly towards him to kiss his mouth and see him in the eyes, and lose himself in those gray orbs for a few seconds. But even if he didn't show it, today Black was particularly eager. He could no longer stand for Zamasu to remain unmoved by his contact and was determined to change his attitude, even if he had to beg him to do so. "Touch me too," Black asked, still giving him short, dry kisses on the neck.

Zamasu listened and ruffled Black's hair with one hand, and stroked his arm with the other one. But, as always, his caresses died after several seconds, slowing his movements until his fingers only remained on the other. Black noticed it right away but tried not to get carried away by the uneasiness.

"Don't stop," he demanded, before trapping Zamasu's lips with his, as he stroked his hair.

Zamasu stroked his hair and body again for a while but in the long run, he stopped, as if lost in the kiss, to which he also didn't respond with too much passion. This situation was already ending with Black's patience, who at times felt he was touching a doll; why couldn't Zamasu keep the contact with him? Was it lack of interest, dislike for his body, simple selfishness? Did Black really have to ask his lover to touch him every time? He didn't want to force him, but something wasn't working right there and he couldn't fix it if the two weren't honest about it.

"So much for you to keep the caresses," said Black, with an inevitably cynical tone, separating from Zamasu's lips and seeing him in the eyes with an unsatisfied expression.

"I am sorry," Zamasu replied, frowning a little with concern, "I have no idea when I stop. I don't get used to keeping that movement."

"It's not such a difficult thing, I am touching you all the time, but I can barely feel you," he claimed.

"In the beginning, you did not care if I participated, why is it so important now that I touch you or not?" Zamasu responded, somewhat confused.

"Just because!" Black extended his arms, lifting his body over Zamasu's; the stubbornness of his partner annoyed him. "Why can't you show me your appreciation the way I ask you?"

"I already told you, it is not into me," Zamasu explained, this time with a serious expression, sensing the bad attitude of his counterpart. "You cannot blame me for that. You were me, you know how it is."

"I was not you, I am you!" Black bellowed angrily, Zamasu had touched upon a sore point there. "Why are you treating me as if I'm someone else?"

"Because sometimes I feel that you are," Zamasu replied loudly, pushing Black's chest gently to get him off and get up a little over the bed. Black sat beside him, burning in frustration and waiting for an explanation. "It's not easy for me to get the idea that my other-self expects these kinds of thing from me," in a very serious tone. "You inhabited this body, you know how it feels. You cannot demand more from it than it can do. You should know it well, that is why you searched for another one, right?" he said, with a scathing look.

"I'm not asking your body to react, I'm asking your mind," Black replied, trying to maintain his composure. "I'm asking for some reciprocity, something that makes me feel connected."

"Why do you suddenly need physical contact to feel connected? Is it not enough for you to be soul mates?"

"Not anymore!" Black lost his temper, he could no longer control his irritation; Zamasu made no effort to understand his new feelings and that was too frustrating. He turned, put on his boots, and got out of bed. "Now I inhabit a mortal body, I do my best to control these new needs that I have but you're not helping me at all," Black explained euphorically, as he gestured. "See? You make me feel that we are not the same, that we are two different people, how can I not need something to feel connected if you can't even give me a caress, as if I were a stranger?"

"And you think it is easy for me?" Zamasu replied, with the same annoyance and volume of voice. "Never in my life did I touch anyone like that and not even would I think that I would need it myself, how can I understand what a body I never knew needs?"

"It shouldn't be important in what body I am," Black replied, putting on his gi, "if we both feel the same about each other, this kind of reaction should be mutual."

"Then perhaps you were right and we no longer feel the same for each other."

Black stopped at that statement, watching dead at Zamasu. He swallowed. He had already contemplated it before, but it was a question he had preferred to ignore all that time -Zamasu probably didn't want him the same way he did. Maybe they had reached a turning point where both had ceased to be the same person and each had different feelings, sharing only a basic affinity towards them and their ideals. Or maybe only Zamasu was unable to return a positive gesture, taking his caresses and signs of affection as an offering to his divine character. In any case, the result didn't benefit him and he couldn't think of a way to solve it now, that he was mired in disgust and frustration.  
Black sighed heavily. "Maybe I expected too much from you, expecting you to know how to correspond to my attention," Black bounded condescendingly, without looking at him, while tying his red sash around his waist.

"Maybe you should not have expected me to understand your new human whims," Zamasu said, raising an eyebrow with cynicism.

"Whims?" he said softly, full of anger, stopping under the doorway. "That was my affection," he concluded, raising the volume of his voice in the last words, before leaving the room.

Black's footsteps heard heavy and abrupt on the wooden floor of the cabin before he violently opened the deck window and flew out of there with no destination, only with the intention of distancing from his other-self. Zamasu remained in bed, closed his shirt in a quick movement, and wrapped himself between the sheets, pouting; he had already lost all motivation to start his day. A bitter taste remained in their mouths after having poured out so much resentment.


	5. Shared Guilt

Black furrowed the skies for a long time, not caring where he was going. He couldn't stop thinking about the matter; why Zamasu couldn't act as he wanted, what avoided him to do it? Why didn't he tell him he didn't want, that he wasn't comfortable or whatever if that was the case? Black didn't ask for much, just a small return of all the affection he gave. "This is so stupid! " he thought, clenching his teeth. While he was on his flight, he spotted a small human city, which he had evidently never approached since it was immaculate. Black was so angry that he didn't mind planning his movements; he gathered energy in a red sphere of power over his index finger and threw it down, destroying a large expanse of land, forming a large crater in the soil which he didn't care, at that moment he just wanted to let off steam. He went down to the part of the city that had remained intact, where passersby ran and screamed in horror at the sudden destruction. Next, he began throwing ki blasts everywhere, destroying everything that was in sight; at this time he didn't care about the Zero Humans Plan or his utopia, he only wanted to destroy, to get rid of all that anger that blinded him.  
Zamasu, on the other hand, had been curled up in bed for a long time. He could no longer fall asleep at that time of day, so he got up and set out to do something despite the circumstances. He served himself a snack and settled down in the dining room to read some books, but he couldn't concentrate on reading any; like Black, his mind was still ruminating the same idea; why did Black want to force him to maintain physical contact, if he knew he was no familiar with it? Why did he let his new human condition distance him from his divine nature, letting himself be carried away by these ridiculous biological impulses? Upon realizing that he was reading the same line for the eighth time, Zamasu clicked his tongue, threw the book to the other end of the sofa, and left the cabin. He felt that he couldn't do anything productive with that moodiness in him.

A couple of hours passed. Black had already calmed down and was walking through a forest, aimlessly. Likewise, Zamasu had also gone outside, wandering through the forest surrounding the cabin. The encounter with nature always managed to pacify their hearts and allow them to appreciate things from another perspective, it was difficult to hold a grudge when they were surrounded by the delights of nature. Black sighed deeply, Zamasu looked up at the treetops, rocking gently. No, they were not yet at peace, even though they had regained their composure. Why was it so difficult to understand the other one's position if they were the same soul? Would they really have already become different people? Could this mean their separation? The idea furrowed their minds and afflicted them for a moment but they denied it right away. No, that was indisputable. The previous discussion had been a disagreement, a simple mistake that didn't have to separate them from each other. Or does it? A streak of anguish pierced both of them equally before the possibility that a fight could separate them in that way. "What would happen if he never comes back?" Zamasu thought. "What would happen if I come back and he's not there? " Black thought. The possibility of that scenario was fearsome. "No, that will not happen. He will give me the reason and everything will be as before" the two thought, isolating themselves in their stubbornness and continuing with their walk.

"But… What if he was right…?"

The afternoon advanced slowly. Twilight colored the skies with a strong pink tinge before the sun went down completely, giving way to a waning moon night. A black and bleak night, which darkness seemed to fill the souls of Black and Zamasu with dismay. The rancor had already dissolved, the anger had already found calm. The reproach now became self-reproach, and the resentment, guilt. The two had thrown hurtful words and yielded to irrationality by a simple disagreement, improper actions of gods like them.  
Wandering around the globe reminded Black why he had allied with Zamasu –to achieve a perfect world with someone who would appreciate it just like him, who shared his ideals and dreams. When did he start to ask for more from him, like to correspond to those strange impulses of physical contact he had been feeling lately? If his support and company had always been enough. Black was ashamed of being carried away so easily by the desires of his new flesh. He wanted to go back to the cabin, but he felt too embarrassed to face his other self at that moment. He decided to sleep in the forest, leaning against a tree. He would miss the warmth of Zamasu's body that night, he thought as he closed his eyes.  
In the cabin, the light remained on until late at night; Zamasu was waiting for Black's return, although he feared he wouldn't receive his forgiveness. He kept thinking about how bad he had behaved in making Black feel rejected; how dare he imply that they could be different people? If they shared basically everything. Black felt different things about him, but Zamasu was well aware that the physiology and statutes of the human race had different precepts about physical contact and personal space. In addition, Zamasu also enjoyed Black's attention, so the only whim there was his for not trying to correspond to him. Zamasu accepted his fault and finally went to sleep, in that bed that tonight looked bigger than ever.


	6. Redemption

Dawn opened a new day with vibrant colors that painted the sky and timid sun rays that bothered Black's eyes. It had been a humid and somewhat cold night but the atmosphere seemed to improve with the sunrise, which contrasted terribly with the state of the false saiyan, thrown against the tree like a dirty rag. He felt miserable. His body ached from having slept while sitting, his clothes were damped, he was hungry and felt weak for not eating well the night before, and he didn't have Zamasu by his side. How he felt the lack of that skin he longed for, of that figure that always delighted him…  
Black stopped his thoughts for a moment, frowning a little. Yes, he missed not having Zamasu nearby. But it wasn't his physical absence that bothered him, but… Zamasu's absence itself. The softness with which he woke him up every morning, the taste of the tea he brewed every day, his proud smirk, the words of encouragement and admiration that he lavished every time Black did a good job… His voice, his gaze, his company. The truth came to Black as an epiphany –his attraction was not towards Zamasu's body, but towards all of him. The affection he had was so great that he couldn't contain it and turned physically, probably because what he felt had already surpassed the concept of affection. And he had despised him for the mere fact of not responding to his "needs"… Zamasu didn't touch him the way he wanted to be touched. Didn't want him the way he wanted to be wanted. How did he come to think that that was a valid reason for his claim? Black remembered what the other one said during their discussion… He knew very well that Zamasu had never touched a human in his life before Son Goku, and even that occasion was anything but pleasant. Zamasu had never had that contact with a human, Black was the only one who could cross that boundary, exclusively because he was his other-self. And yet, he got used to it without inconvenience, he never had an attitude of distrust or reluctance towards him, he never took him away, he never rejected him, even though the skin he wore belonged to that race he so despised. Black had never stopped to think about it, Zamasu had been making a great sacrifice silently supporting his partner, even against his most intimate personal barriers. Claiming him for more was unfair, inconsiderate; he didn't deserve more attention, what he already had was exceptional. The fact that he could share his life with himself was what made him happier. Black pursed his lips, guilt drawn on his face. He would have many things to say to Zamasu upon his return.

The same sunbeams that woke Black intruded through the curtains of Zamasu's bedroom, announcing the beginning of a day that he preferred not to face. Still sleepy, he turned himself on the bed and unconsciously extended his arm to Black's side, but found nothing; "right," he recalled bitterly, "he has not returned." But he quickly gazed, thinking about what he had just done. Had his body sought Black's presence for itself? Now that he thought about it, he usually woke up before Black and sometimes caressed his pectorals while the other one was still asleep… Did he do it often? He never noticed it. He had never thought that he was also looking for Black's skin… Zamasu sighed in frustration and rose from his bed, his eyes tired and swollen, he had hardly slept last night. He'd already forgotten that he didn't need the same hours of sleep like a human, he usually only accompanied Black in bed because he enjoyed doing it, but the anxiety of the previous day had taken away the little sleep he needed. Later, he went to the kitchen and started to boil water to make tea, and took out two cups of the cupboard before realizing that he would make only one single tea that morning. When the drink was ready, he sat on the sofa to taste it next to some sweet snacks. The morning passed with an almost lethargic slowness. Zamasu could almost taste the bitterness of the loneliness he felt, would it always be that way without Black? Although he sometimes left for hours, the Kai never felt alone because he knew he always came back. The potential of his company was enough. But now… he felt an inner emptiness, loneliness, and anguish similar to those he felt in his former days as a Kaioshin apprentice.  
Zamasu felt as if the idea slapped him in the face. If it hadn't been for Black, he would still be there, suffering in silence, unable to change the world, wasting his life with a tutor who only taught him conformity. The daily enjoyment of fighting for his utopia, the beauty of the earthly nature that surrounded him, the invaluable company of someone who thought like him, none of that would have been possible if Black had not come forward that day to tear him out of his miserable routine. But the saddest thing was that he didn't usually think about everything Black had to go through to get to that point –give up his divine body, his timeline, and everything he knew, just to go for him and fulfill his shared dream together. Zamasu would be eternally in debt, a debt that Black never demanded… And yet, when he had the possibility of giving it back to him with something as simple as devolving a caress, he didn't do it, even though he also found enjoyment in that act. Zamasu swallowed, full of grief. Why did he allow himself so much hypocrisy? He knew he greatly enjoyed Bl ack's company –his presence, his words, his support, his kisses, everything. But he took him for granted and wasn't able to correspond to that affection that, contrary to what he had hinted, was reciprocal, and didn't seem so far away from what Black felt for him. Zamasu adored Black, to the full extent of the word. He was aware that many of the things they did together weren't typical of a god but rather attitudes similar to those of a mortal couple but he never cared for it. It's true that his body didn't know how to react naturally, it's true that it was difficult for him to keep up with Black's passion… But he actually had never made a real effort to solve it. His counterpart was right.  
Zamasu looked down at the bottom of his cup still with some tea, where his distressed face was reflected. How ungrateful he had been, despising the one who owed his life and his dreams. Even beyond that, Zamasu knew that he had to respond to his requests, not because of past debt but because he really appreciated him, beyond what he had ever hoped to appreciate someone.

The sun managed to peek out from the clouds that cool mid-morning. Zamasu was on the deck of the cabin, not knowing what to do. He knew, or rather, wanted to believe that Black would return soon. It's not like something could happen to him, is it? He clenched his hands on the rail and soaked his lips with concern, imprisoned in uncertainty.  
In the distance, a cluster of light was approaching at high speed, which disappeared as soon as it reached a few meters from the cabin; it was Black, who dispersed his ki shortly before arriving to land softly. "I'm back," he said, without looking up.

"Zamasu," he received his counterpart, referring to Black. Zamasu's heart skipped a beat. He immediately broke away from the rail and took a few quick steps until he reached Black. He looked very distressed, downcast enough as to not notice that Zamasu also had the guilt written on his face.

"Sorry for being absent for so long. I am sorry for everything that has happened." Black didn't look up, he didn't feel worthy to look Zamasu in the eye after everything he said and sent him through. "You were right, I had no right to use you to satisfy my mortal desires. I hope… I beg your pardon." Black finally raised his countenance, displaying in his eyes the deep sorrow that corroded his soul.

Zamasu only held his hectic breathing for a few moments, before he hurled at the false saiyan and hugging him tightly; Black only reacted by opening his eyes in surprise. "No, Zamasu, I am sorry, I was to blame for everything, " Zamasu replied, hiding his face in his body. "Please don't leave again," he pleaded, sinking his fingers into his partner's back.

Black took a breath, trying to clear his senses, before closing his eyes and also hugging Zamasu. It was undeniable: nowhere did he feel at home like in the arms of his other-self. "Sorry. I should not have gone,… nor said all those things, no–"

"No, you were right." Zamasu interrupted him, beating his head next to his. "I never show you my appreciation, either the way you want or any other. And that has been a sin". Zamasu separated his face from his partner's shoulder so he could look straight to Black while wrapping his arms around his neck. "I appreciate you a lot. I love you a lot." Zamasu used the hand he had on Black's neck to direct the angle of his head and kiss him, joining his lips, his tongues, and his souls in that act. Black was taken aback, but quickly closed his eyes and responded to the kiss, hugging Zamasu by the waist and pulling him over to him. They were like this for several seconds before Zamasu separated, gave him a dry kiss on the lips, and took shelter in his arms again.

"I am sorry for having forced you to respond to my touch…" Black commented, stroking the other's head.

"It's all right," Zamasu replied softly, still intoxicated with that kiss, "it is natural that you want retribution for it and I shouldn't have discussed it; after all, I enjoy it too. You… are the only one whose caresses I want to feel."

"And you are the only one I want to give them to," Black added, with a smirk on his lips, staying that way for a long time, enjoying the simple and peaceful mutual company. "Is it not strange that the gods do not experience or even teach about these kinds of feelings?"

"Actually, I do not think it is strange anymore." Zamasu pulled away a little, placing his hands on Black's chest and looking him in the eyes. "Gods are not absolute. And if something this journey has taught us is that other inferior species can surpass them in some things, such as in power… or in the strength of their feelings. I think you were right when you mentioned that before. Because this… is not only affection, right?"

"No. It is much stronger. I thought I could not love you more than I already appreciated you, but… every day I get more surprised to see how wrong I was, " Black replied, smiling tenderly.

"It seems that I underestimated what a god in a human body could do," Zamasu said, with a sly look.

"Only under the charm of a magnificent god by his side," Black replied with a mischievous smirk, approaching until he lovingly touched his nose. "Shall we have some tea?"

Zamasu nodded, purposely to brush his nose with Black's. "Let's go."

Zamasu separated but took Black's hand to enter the cabin together. It would be the sweetest tea they had tasted.


End file.
